Women, too, are afraid to express love, fearing that, if they do, they will be rendered vulnerable, susceptible, defenseless, and misunderstood. Nations are afraid that if they speak of love, they will become assailable to their enemies. Politicians believe that if they speak of love, somebody will think they are wimps. Even church folks feel that if they make love supreme, they will be seen in lacking in discipline, decisiveness, and direction. Love is not receiving the emphasis that it should in our lives.

How many Christians are or have been known primarily as people of love? How many churches have made love the chief criterion for church memberships or the first requirement for leadership in church? What is it that people think about when they attempt to define the essence of their faith or the character of the people of God? What is the first thing we think about when we must explain to others who we are and why we do what we do?

Many denominations do not include love as a primary focus in their articles of faith. Their lists may include things like baptism by immersion, seperation between church and state, local autonomy, the Bible as the only rule of faith and practice, freedom of conscience, the priesthood of all believers  but nothing about love.To be sure, love stands like a shadow behind each of these principles, breathing into them the breath of life and making them last through the storms and changes of centuries. Love is always around, though it is seldom seen, celebrated, or even mentioned.

We hesitate to talk about love. I wonder if it is our reverence for love that prompts us to avoid speaking about the way in which we should love each other, or is it not our failure to live in love that causes us to keep silence on the subject?

Perhaps we fail to live in love because it seems too simple, too sentimental, too lenient. We are prone to prefer the disciplines of truth and the enforcements of power to the actions of love and the persuasions of grace. Even among people of faith, we find it more convenient to be identified by the Book we carry  than by the love we are to show. The great new Testament experience that does not express itself in love. And yet, to our shame, love is perhaps the most neglected power, discipline, and phenomenon in the church today.

It is not mentioned in our creeds, rehearsed in our rituals, demonstrated in our devotion, central in our prayers, or practiced in our procedures. We would rather follow the dictates of Roberts Rules of other than obey Jesus command, Love one another (john 13:34). We would rather boast about our numbers than up our love. We would rather make our budget larger than make our love greater. We would rather quote the bible and show off our spiritual gift than live our love and display graceful hospitality.

An American preacher once said, The great tragedy of the ages is that after two thousand years of grace, Christianity has not been identified with love. Few, if any, congregations have been trained in anywhere to repeat Sunday after Sunday, I believe in the new commandment to love neighbor as self.

We have trained people to title, to speak in tongues, to dance, to shout, to teach, to witness, to discern, to vote, to serve, to preserve, to sing, and to direct, but we have not taught them how to love. We have been taught how to act like Christians, but not to be Christians. If the church through twenty centuries had kept the commandment to love at the forefront of its preaching and practice, what a difference it would have made in the world.

Slavery would have been abolished in the first century. Oppression would have been wiped from the face of the planet. Discrimination because of race, class, and gender would have been unknown. Governments would have been consecrated. Economic systems would have been transformed. The poor would have been helped. The rich would have been challenged to give. Drive-bys would now be stop-bys.

Drugs would have been used constructively and not destructively. Babies would have been born into families where they loved and protected, not abused and neglected. Domestic violence would have been eliminated.  All these things would have occurred if the church had only kept love at the forefront of its practices and proclamations. People are confused about love because the word love has been batted about and abused. It can now mean anything from the most frivolous impulse to the deepest and most sublime commitment. We use the word for so many difference things. I love my wife, I love America, I love hot dogs-and football, ice cream, nice cars, my dog, and even tacos. I love the flag. We love so many different thing.

There is a lot of misconception about what real love is. Some people think love is a feeling. Love conveys feeling, but it is not in and of itself a feeling. Too often we think love is an ocean of emotion, a quiver in my liver, goose bumps on the back of my neck - an emotion I can't handle. No doubt about it: love cause feelings, but love is not feeling. It's much more than that.

Another misconception is that love is uncontrollable. In other word, you can't handle it. "I fell in love," means, "I had no control over it." You hear people say things like that, "I can't help it; I'm in love," or, sadly, "I can't help it; I just don't love him anymore" - as if love were controllable. The Scriptures teach us differently.
The Scriptures declare that love is at least two things.

Love is a choice. Colossian 3:14 says, "Above all things put on love, which is the bond of perfection." It's the commitment to care, and it is controllable. You choose whom you love and whom you will not love.

Love is the way of life. Love is something you do. It's more than just feelings. It's more than just words. First john 3:18 encourages us by saying, "Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth." Notice that love is something you do. It a behavior. It's not just talk. A man said to his fiancée, "Baby, I would die for you." She said, "You 're always saying that, why don't you do it?" Love is something you do; it's an action, an effort. It's more than words or talk.

If love were  just a feeling, then it could not be commanded. Have you ever tried to command a feeling? You can't command a feeling. You can't force a feeling. Love is not a feeling. It's something you do; it's a choice and an action. Therefore, it's possible to love people you don't like. Let there be no mistake: as we seek to live our lives, there will be plenty of people who don't like us and whom we don't like.

Jesus never demanded or commanded that we have to have "warm fuzzies" about everybody, but He did command us to love everybody. We may not like the way people act, the way they dress, the way they talk, or the way they smell, yet we can still love them through the power of Christ.

Winston Churchill and Lady Astor had a famous rivalry. One day Lady actor said, "Winston, if I were married to you I'd put poison in your coffee." Churchill replied, "Nancy, if I were married to you, I'd drink it." On another occasion, Lady Actor told Churchill, "Why, Sir Churchill, you are drunk!" Churchill responded, "And you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning!"

No matter how challenging or difficult it is, the good news is that each of us can begin today to live in love from this moment forward. How do you do it?

BY lance D. Watson (maximize your edge)